“The Velvet Hammer” Blog

I like reading your blog ...says the defense lawyer

I like reading your blog ...says the defense lawyer

We are in deposition yet again on this case. Have lost count of how many there have been. Thirty, forty, something like that.

Have spent so much time together, we're kind of like a team. Even though we are all on different sides. There's the gracious court reporter who always has cookies ready for us. Even at 9:00 in the morning. N - my biggest sparring partner. B who passes notes to N but otherwise doesn't speak. W who sometimes chimes in at the end. C isn't with us today. P comes in her stead.

Karen KoehlerMarch 26, 2012deposition, writing

Top 10 reasons I wear a hoodie in Seattle

10. Don't like umbrellas

9. Not as easy to lose as a hat

8. Doesn't smoosh hair down like a hat

7. Like versatility of putting it up or down

Karen KoehlerMarch 23, 2012funny, lawyer style, lawyer life

The big oops

Am in the well seasoned congressman's office. Admiring the family photos on the credenza. He is standing with his daughter who Is in her wedding dress. A proud father. See the photo of the newborn. Sweet. As we get up to leave, shake his hand and congratulate him on becoming a proud grandfather.

He says, I'm the dad. The eldest child is three and we have an infant as well.

Karen KoehlerMarch 21, 2012funny

Day 2 and an iPad day smarter

I wrote this blog then lost the whole blasted thing. Tis sits about how my iPad experience is going. Humbling.

Am deep in the world of free apps. Used Zite to create a magazine of things that interest me. some of which already don't and are destined for the delete key. Now have an alarm clock that tells the weather. My favorite tho is the kissing kitties am going to send them to my girls.

Karen KoehlerMarch 20, 2012tech for lawyers

iPad or bust

I am in DC at an ugly hotel for AAJ. I have made the plunge and decided to leave my laptop at home. This will force me to rely solely upon the iPad that I've been dabbling with since December. Leaving the laptop is like leaving one of my arms. I'm bereft and a little scared.

So far I'm most underwhelmed by typing on this thing. ILife to type fast and as you can see do not have the technique down yet. Actually it's getting better but still is too slow andtoo many mistakes.

Karen KoehlerMarch 19, 2012tech for lawyers

The treadmill screamer strikes again

The treadmill screamer strikes again

On the treadmill. Ipod filling my head with music. Reading the kindle. Overhead a basketball game is on TV. The water from Puget Sound alternates between looking stormy and shimmery as the weather tries to make up its mind.

Am in Zen like happy zoned out place. Have been going for about half an hour. On this chilly Sunday afternoon.

Karen KoehlerMarch 12, 2012funny, lawyer life

Oh ugly courthouse...how I love thee.

Oh ugly courthouse...how I love thee.

Tap. Tap. Tap. It is dark out. Grope for the clock. Bring it within two inches of my eyes and squint. 6:00. Which means it is 5:50 since pushed it forward a teeny bit. Just in case there was a day like today. Put it back on nightstand to go back to sleep.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Really drives me nuts when my upstairs neighbor wears shoes. Yes, am still in the condo. Waiting for the house remodel to one day end. Condo is a hundred year old apartment conversion. The old wood floors are beautiful . Dark and glossy. There is just one problem.

Karen KoehlerMarch 11, 2012lawyer schedule, trial diaries, lawyer style

Ridiculous defense of an intersection crash case

Ridiculous defense of an intersection crash case

Once upon a time, a dude entered an intersection and decided to turn left. Problem was, there was another car (lawfully) coming on through. So he crashed into it. Since the female driver had a green light, anyone who drives a car knows - the dude should have yielded right of way.

Enter the defense lawyer.

Karen KoehlerMarch 6, 2012car accident, if only jurors knew, insurance, judge, obnoxious defense

Yogalysha strikes again

Yogalysha strikes again

I had to bribe my children to read.

It started when Cristina reached Junior High and the other two were in grade school. They never wanted to read for enjoyment.

Growing up - I made weekly treks to the Lake Forest Park library underneath the neighborhood shopping center. It was small. I read every book in there - sometimes more than once. So it was disorienting that my girls could not conceive of reading a non-school book.

Karen KoehlerFebruary 25, 2012family

The Hapa Mommy Trial Lawyer answers Bill's question

The Hapa Mommy Trial Lawyer answers Bill's question

My dear friend Bill Bailey is now on staff as a professor at the U of W law school. He asks me to participate in a writing project. You can figure out his question by reading the answer.

Karen KoehlerFebruary 23, 2012teaching, women

Direct exam of a supervisor - he was freaked out really bad

Direct exam of a supervisor - he was freaked out really bad

We can't help it - us lawyers. We have to go to school for so long - it's no wonder we stop talking and thinking like real people. We say "prior" for before and "subsequent" for after. We love words with lots of syllables. Because this is what law school drilled into us.

In trial, we distance ourselves when we fail to communicate on a real person level. That's the beauty of having witnesses who are not experts. The jury can understand them.

Karen KoehlerFebruary 17, 2012direct exam, jury

The doctor who had a cow and other tall tales

The doctor who had a cow and other tall tales

We should be in trial right now. We planned on it for over a year. Had every single witness lined up. And woosh we are kicked to the curb. New start date in June.

So what. Just a few more months. What's the big deal.

Karen KoehlerFebruary 16, 2012experts, judge, legal scheduling

Convention day 2: Party like a rock star

Convention day 2: Party like a rock star

Give the speech. Go for a run. Have the spinal cord litigation group meeting. Smile at the Phoenix Suns wheelchair basketball crew demo. Go on our field trip. Gawk at the brand spanking new disability center. Apparently flirt (according to Cristina) with the very handsome fitness coordinator. Barrio Queen for dinner with a lively group of 12. Arrive back at the hotel at 9:30.

But wait.

Karen KoehlerFebruary 13, 2012aaj, family, lawyer convention, lawyers have fun, traveling lawyer

AAJ convention day 1 - arrival, the Bohms, Whitney and Talking Tom

AAJ convention day 1 - arrival, the Bohms, Whitney and Talking Tom

Suitcase is packed. We are out the door on the way to the airport. Cristina says - did you see the weather report. Um, no Robert said it was in the mid 70s. Seems a cool front is blowing in so minus that by at least 10. I've packed shorts sandles, and a short skirt to give my talk in. Oh great.

Karen KoehlerFebruary 11, 2012aaj, lawyer convention, public speaking, traveling lawyer

Snap Crackle... Bump

We wrestle while smiling. Or not. Through phone calls. Email. Across the deposition table. Am on high alert. Trial is supposed to start in one week. He wants to stall it.

Finish the deposition. While waiting for the plane send this email.

Karen KoehlerJanuary 31, 2012legal scheduling, obnoxious defense

Deposition outline defendant driver

Deposition outline defendant driver

If the driver admits they did something wrong then there's no need to take the deposition. But there's a reason that there are so many lawyers. Exhibit A - big bad insurance companies. Here are some of the pitiful excuses they make in straight forward rear end cases:

Karen KoehlerJanuary 24, 2012car accident, deposition

And he lifted his arms to the sky and declared: you are healed!

And he lifted his arms to the sky and declared: you are healed!

If you are walking in a marked crosswalk with a pedestrian light on. With friends. And a guy in a Honda is talking on his cell and decides to turn left. And mows you down. The car strikes you. You land on top of the hood and then fall down and strike the pavement. And you are taken by ambulance to the hospital. And end up bruised and hurting all over. Then you my dear friend need to see Dr. Sean Ghidella. Because according to him - you will be healed and back to normal within three months. Boom. Just like that.

Karen KoehlerJanuary 17, 2012insurance, defense medical examiners, obnoxious defense

Ray the Magnificent

Ray the Magnificent

The defendant doctors want this LAP band surgery case thrown out of court before a jury ever gets to hear about it. So they file four (4) separate summary judgment motions all with response due dates on the day following return from New Year's break.

Karen KoehlerJanuary 13, 2012great people, motion

Direct exam of a treating physician

Direct exam of a treating physician

Outlines serve a purpose. They just shouldn't be relied upon to the exclusion of the rest of what is going on in a courtroom.

This general outline has been in my repertoire for 20 years. My former boss, Tom Chambers, developed it. I have barely changed it. I use it as a reminder. As a guide. Not as a script.

Karen KoehlerJanuary 10, 2012deposition, direct exam

Deposition - helping a deponent put foot in mouth

Deposition - helping a deponent put foot in mouth

The plane lands in the Tri Cities. Am on way to rental car. Defendants pull up in a work truck. They are picking up Doug - the defense lawyer. They motion for me to come on over. They want to give me a lift. How sweet is that.

Pull self into smelly dirty diesel. Am wearing jeans so doesn't matter. All good.

Karen KoehlerJanuary 9, 2012deposition, traveling lawyer