This is called - taking your nick name to the next level.
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Am confined to hotel room. Prepping for trial tomorrow. Sniffling. At about 10:30 pm decide to go clear away the fog. The gym is open 24/7. Change into gear. Give one good last blow and head downstairs. Turn on the lights. Utter peace.
This is my time to let my mind roam wherever it wants. Michael Jackson on the ipod. The Olympics on TV. Am watching the high jumpers. About a mile into the run, the door opens. A minx with shaggy (wet) blonde hair tosses her room key onto the treadmill next to me. I sigh at the noise she makes and try to ignore her.
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The defense is perpetuating the testimony of its defense medical examiner for trial. The doctor is answering the defense lawyer's questions. And then this happens:
Q MR C: This says, "JANE DOE is present
3 for complete physical exam, also pap smear, fasting labs."
4 MS. KOEHLER: All right. I'm going to move to
5 strike. This is ridiculous.
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We are running my favorite route. The sun is shining. Oh it is so fun to do this. Love to do this. Ooh I see you bird. Wish could jump out of this harness thing She has strapped around me. It fastens in front. She thinks it will stop me from pulling her. Don't know why She thinks that. But it does feel better than being pulled by the neck. Am not complaining. Love being outside. Even though She runs way too slow. But am not complaining.
We get to Myrtle Edwards park. Ooh I see you bird. This is where the trouble starts. Ooh that little boy wants to pet me. She doesn't stop. Nice try little boy.
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Am heading out on a plane tomorrow to fight this in court. The young woman is 21. The defense pulled all of her public social network postings a few years ago. Recently they tried to grab more stuff off the sites but encountered privacy settings.
We bring a motion to prevent "an unnecessary additional fishing expedition into her private life." The defense says - this information could be relevant so it has to be produced.
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There is a school of thought that you should not object during trial. Just let the bad questions go where they will. So the jury won't think you are trying to hide something by objecting. Maybe so. Maybe not.
But in a video perpetuation deposition the court rules on the objections ahead of time. And then the videotape is edited. The jury isn't dragged through the technical details.
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Am in an absolutely foul detestable mood. The stupid office servers have had a "catastrophic failure." 24 hours ago and counting.
Can feel blood pressure increasing. Stomach is sitting at base of throat. Have a prehearing statement of proof due today. Am growling orders. Punching numbers on the phone. One after the other. Apologize for being so awful. Then go back to being horrible.
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Mary Fung cured me from saying "um" when I was still a teenager. Here's what she would do:
- Count out loud each time I said um
- Tell me how silly I sounded
- Tell anyone within earshot how silly I sounded
This is what any good Tiger Mom and in her case - Dragon Lady Mom would have done.
Read MoreI told my kids a lot of stories when they were little. Pictures were good and well. But what they really liked was when I acted out the characters.
In trial opening is the opportunity to tell the story. There are no rules that say we need to read it and be boring. Over the years I have ben a bus, a cross walk, and other various objects or people when I've told the opening story. But look what happened in this case. The judge was not used to having a story told with quite as much dramatic flair.
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The teams are putting on the final trial. It is our last class of the year. The seventh year Bill Bailey and I have taught trial advocacy together at the UW. (He's a professor on staff now in the law school)
Rush around all day doing our regular lawyer stuff. Inch along thru rush hour traffic to get to the school by 5:30. Stomachs often rumbling. Sometimes choke down a power bar.
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Remember my defense medical doctor movie. Perhaps you thought it was fictitious. Or at least exaggerated. Because after all it was writen in a huff. Directly after the deposition. Before it was transcribed.
Well, here is the actual transcript. You be the judge. What is funnier (more obnoxious): the movie or the real thing.
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Here are some tips from cases I've handled on how NOT to run down a pedestrian*.
- When the bus you are driving arrives at an intersection. And comes to a stop. And there are pedestrians already on the sidewalk curb getting ready to cross, wait your turn. Let them cross. They were there first. Do not turn your head to look for oncoming traffic and begin to drive forward as they are walking in front of you.
The clerk sends an email on Thursday. Our trial starts Monday. Or it is supposed to. This case has been scheduled for trial for over a year. But SNAP! Just like that. A criminal case pushes its way past us. This happens in November.
Fast forward. We are now set to start the same trial June 4. After a six month delay. Everyone is ready to go. Some of the witnesses have booked flights and hotels. But wait. SNAP! Just like that. We are bumped again. By another criminal case. We are now supposed to start this whole thing over again in October. Supposedly.
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Witnesses who make up crap - make my day. Especially when they are defense doctors. This one was so obnoxious that I made a movie in her honor.
Here is the set up.
A guy is careless. Because of his carelessness, your head strikes an object. Your neck hyper extends backwards. You have never gone to the doctor for neck pain. But after this happens, you have problems right away. Your neck doesn't only hurt - it radiates pain down your arm and your hand is numb.
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What is there to say. They Came. We Saw. They Conquered.
David Ball and Don Keenan put on The Reptile seminar this past week in Seattle.
You all know by now how fidgety, impatient, bored I get. Well, two consecutive days from 8:30 to 5:00, I stayed put. Absolutely enchanted. It was a record.
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Some of the richest doctors no longer practice medicine. Instead they make up to half a million dollars a year, working for insurance companies. Their assignment: examine injured plaintiffs with a jaundiced eye. Then proclaim they should be cured in 60 to 90 days. Sometimes a little longer.
About five years ago, there was a mean retired neurosurgeon who said a mother was paralyzed and in a wheelchair because she made up the injury in her mind. He called it "hysterical paralysis." Made for a good defense. Of course in reality, she's still paralyzed today. Apparently the hysteria hasn't ended.
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Head jerks forward. Eyes open. Where the heck am I. Are we still in Minneapolis. Can’t figure out if the plane has taken off. Or is landing. It hasn’t taken off. Thirty minutes later we bounce down in Fargo North Dakota.
Alan the Executive Director of the trial lawyer association has texted me to call him. I do. The airport terminal is clean, new and small. At the landing by the escalator, a big tall blond woman is hugging another big tall blond woman in greeting. They appear to be sisters. Talking in a language that is definitely not English.
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An attorney asked me to help try a case a week before trial. Day one I arrived with a notice of appearance. The defense lawyer objected due to "unfair surprise." Overruled.
It was not a complex trial but the defense lawyer struggled. Mightily.
After the good (for us) verdict came in this is what the jurors said. They had a really hard time with how bad the defense lawyer was. They felt very sorry for the defendant for having such a poor lawyer. Closing argument was so awful they could not even "bear to look" at her. They had to make extra sure they didn't rule against the defendant because of counsel. So they tried to even things out. Thankfully they were able to give us a good verdict but this left a permanent impression with me.
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The only health condition the defense won't try to spin - is death.
One technique used against plaintiffs, is to paint them as negative whiners. The defense mocks the injured person by saying they are overly focusing on their injury and see the glass as half empty. The logic is - if the person had a better mindset - they would see the glass is half full and everything would be better.
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We used to write hundreds of boring (sounding) letters in a case. Now we write hundreds of boring (sounding) emails and the occasional letter.
There is no court rule that says we need to be boring (sounding) when we communicate with opposing counsel.
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