Dear Grandma - thoughts on your legacy

Dear Grandma.

I only knew you through my mom who lost you when she was 14. She idolized you. I spent many hours looking at the handful of photos she had of you. Starting with the one where you stood next to Gong Gong on your marriage day. You never smiled in your pictures. I wouldn’t have either if my marriage had been arranged.

Mom said that you were training to be a healer and were in midwives school. But were forced to stop. You came to American. Had 11 children. And died too early to see what became of them all. You never met your grandchildren. But we are here Grandma. And now you have great grandchildren and even great greats.

Today I was cleaning up and came across your picture. It led me to think of all the barriers that you faced. Many that you were never able to overcome. And yet you persisted.

Sometimes Grandma, I get a little bummed out that there are still barriers in my professional world. Even though I am so privileged compared to what you faced. I usually don’t dwell too much on the built in disparities that exist - as they relate to me. Or the extra steps i have to take as a nonwhite nonmale to be acknowledged for excellence in my field. But sometimes…sometimes… the accumulation of it all bothers me personally.

I didn’t get enough ethics credits in 2021. So am cramming them in right now. And Grandma - of the two seminars I am watching from my own state bar association, all five speakers are white and male. Here we are more than 100 years after you were born, and still the elite organizations that rule the lawyers don’t care enough to make sure that all white male panels are longer a thing. If the lawyers who are supposed to be upholding the law still refuse to see the problem - how can we expect anyone else to do so.

Grandma - I wish you could have seen mom when she was a lawyer. She was wildly unconventional. But also never tried to be anything other than what you taught her to be - and that was herself in the strongest most powerful sense. Whether the world was fair or not - she fought on. This is the legacy that you have created and that exists today within us your children.

Photo: Grandma