Nala turned 15 in April.

For 14 years she ran with me every day. Last year that came to a stop. The vet assumed it was hip arthritis. Though now we know it was something else.

I have not done a great job of making the transition to solo. Always an excuse - too cold - rain - dark. We used to go out in anything except snow and ice. I had three kinds of water proof jackets and a head lamp. The treadmill is a slog. But that is where I spent most of this past winter. Plus she didn’t have to stay at the house alone when I went out.

This summer I’ve reverted to going outside. Now instead of doing multiple triple loops of excitement. As soon as she sees me gear up, she goes down to the basement. And puts herself to sleep until i return. This at least is better than the cry-howling that would greet me upon my return.

Most recently her back legs seemed to give out. We had to carry her upstairs and hold her up to go potty. A different vet gave her a spine exam and suspected a bad disc. Xray confirmed L2-3. The disc was completely gone and in the process of calcifying. Most likely this is why she stopped running a year ago.

Gabapentin came to the rescue. Controlling her pain. So she can trot around again. Though from time to time she loses her balance.

Through all of this aging process, Nala never complains. She doesn’t give up. Though she seems puzzled when she tries to do something and can’t. She has not become grumpy. And thankfully dementia has not set in.

Sometimes when she’s sleeping - instead of snoring like she sometimes does - she is so still and quiet. That I put my head down and rest my hand on her to make sure she is still breathing.

I can’t bear the thought that she will grow more feeble as she ages. At the same time I am so happy and relieved that she is aging. Because that means she is alive.

Photo: Nala in the office. By Julia Canfield.