Argument by iphone

Photo:  self explanatory.

Alarm goes off.  Am already conscious.  Tissues surround me.  Am ill.

Have to be in court by 8:45.  Go through the motions.  Get there in time.  Judge S is late.  We are set to argue before a jury trial starts at 9.  They are at the voir dire phase.  The prosecutor and defender are chatting.

Pull out spanking new computer.  It's awesome.  Open it.  Can't connect to internet.

Haven't saved all the documents to the hard drive.  They are all on email or the server.

Try this.  Try that.  Nothing works.  Can't figure out this blasted new fangled computer and MSFT 8.  Achoo!

Wonder if can do the whole thing by heart.  We are comparing three different orders on competing motions for summary judgment.   I need to see the documents.  Do not panic.  No time for that.

Email John - can you email everything again. He does.

Judge S arrives.  Takes the bench.  Rory is appearing by speaker phone.  I may be sneezing, but in person is always better.

Judge S:  Good morning counsel.

K3:  Good morning your honor.  Before we begin, I'd like to apologize but I can't figure out how to access my documents for this hearing on my new computer.  So I will be using my iphone.  No disrespect intended.

Judge S:  Smiling.  That's fine counsel.

And so that's what happens.  For the next twenty minutes, I  scroll back and forth on the iphone.  Arguing across the bench from her Honor, the clerk, the bailiff, and the speaker phone.