Lawyer Advertising Hell

This showed up in my email today.  At first I hoped it was a bad joke.  It wasn't.  This wins my award for Most Tacky & Gross Lawyer Advertising Scheme 2012.

Greetings Counselor,

As I'm sure you are aware, the most important time to acquire new clients is at the exact time they need your help. We know that if we get the client to call you first, your chances of having that person become a client is much higher. 

As the leading funeral home directory online, many of our users have experienced the unfortunate circumstance of a wrongful death or serious personal injury.  Before you compare us to the movie, "The Verdict" at least consider over 500 of your peers are currently advertising on our directory.

Click Here to Learn More About Our Advertising
Millions of families use our Directory on an annual basis and we are ranked #1 by the 3 major Search Engines in hundreds of search term categories.  Your Law Firm will be positioned to help these families in the cities & communities you serve EXCLUSIVELY!!

We are having a massive SALE! You can get 14 months for the price of 12 and $250.00 off if you sign up by Friday December 28th...PLUS you get the TAX WRITE-OFF THIS YEAR!

Click Here to Take Advantage of this SALE
Call immediately for details and spend just 5 minutes with us in front of your computer and see why over 500 Law Firms currently advertise with us on an EXCLUSIVE basis.... call the toll free number provided below  for this EXCLUSIVE offer...

We know that you have been contacted  by every type of advertising medium and in many cases paid good money promising the best "bang for your buck". Well, we don't make promises. we just deliver clients because of the following proven methods:

1. In a Wrongful Death Case, the first thing a family has to do is make arrangements to bury their loved one. We are the world's largest Funeral Home Directory and we design a Banner Ad for your Law Firm so it's the first thing a family sees when they visit your City on our Directory.

2. Your Law Firm becomes the EXCLUSIVE Wrongful Death & Serious Personal Injury advertising partner in your City - County & surrounding communities.

3. Millions of people use our Directory annually and we are ranked #1 by GOOGLE in hundreds of industry search terms.

4. We have a 93% renewal rate with over 500 Law Firms that currently advertise with us and most major markets have sold out.

5. We can track all activity on your advertisement and send you a detailed report every 90 days.

There are many more benefits that we can show you and the cost to advertise with us is very inexpensive. If you would like to be the EXCLUSIVE Law Firm in your City - County & surrounding communities, then contact us at the phone number provided below and spend 5 minutes with us, what do you have to lose?

The Team

Hmm.   Let me think. What do I have to lose.  Geez.  Maybe my dignity and respect.
Email text:  unabridged mass email version from