Worst lawyer speeches probably ever

How can trial lawyers be such bad public speakers.

Oh, this is a snarky topic.  Should not be critical of people who volunteer their time and talent to help others .   Is there a benefit in publicly venting in this way.  Tsk tsk.

Am here at the AAJ convention in NYC.  Sitting in seminar and am only not bored, because am engaging in self-indulgent venting.

There are good speakers here.  Some phenomenally good ones.  But this isn’t about them.  This is about the worst of the worst.

Number 1 happens in seminar.  The lawyer starts off by saying  AAJ doesn’t allow speakers to tell war stories.   He says he doesn’t care and starts bragging about a BIG verdict he just got.  Puts it up on a Powerpoint in gigantic numerals surrounded by 4th of July type exploding graphics.  He spends the next 45 minutes beating his chest as he recounts the case.  And ends with the same BIG verdict exploding graphic.   I only stay for his presentation because am the next speaker.  Gag me with a wooden spoon.

Number 2 happens at an awards dinner for a related organization.   The lawyer has gotten their highest award.  He gets to give an acceptance speech.  The only charming part is initially when he can’t get his glasses on quite right to read his speech (why should a trial lawyer need to read a speech – um…).

Over the course of the next almost half an hour, he tells us what a great law firm he has (we try counting how many times he uses his law firm’s name in the speech but give up.  At least two dozen times).  Thanks and tells us about each of his kids (nice).  Thanks his wife for taking care of him and his kids (ok).  Thanks all of his partners whom he names individually and then tells anecdotes about.   And how great they are and how great he is and about how great the work is that the organization does ad infinitum. Imagine the worst Oscar acceptance speech ever given and then times it by ten.  We are a captive audience.  It is so awful it becomes almost (but not quite) hilarious.  Especially when he keeps pausing to clap at himself.   I would walk out, but am hoping dessert will come (it doesn’t).

Yes.  Thumper did tell Bambi – if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all.  But polite silence also contributes to some people remaining absolutely clueless.