Karen Koehler

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The anti-relaxer, and other non-sequiturs

After hearing I was heading back into trial, a lovely friend from kindergarten urged me to retire. What more do you need Karen. What more do you have to prove. You deserve to relax and spend more time being a grandma. All good and valid points.

In July will turn 64. Am at the tail end of the boomer generation. Went to a law party last night and it was interesting that so many people asked if I was going to slow down anytime soon. (Answer: No).

As a young lawyer, people criticized me for being too brash, driven and irreverent. As a middle age lawyer, the complaints were that I was too non-conforming, domineering - “Queen Karen.” Now that am dipping into my golden years in the law, the whispers usually behind my back, are that I am egotistical, controlling, and greedy.

“You should retire Karen.”

I didn’t hear people say this to Paul Stritmatter who tried cases into his mid 70s or Paul Luvera who tried them into his 80s.

There’s something about an older successful extremely active law firm managing partner female trial lawyer, that just doesn’t sit right with people’s notions of a happy state of being.

Perhaps people would be more comfortable if I stopped dying my hair, worked part time and took up knitting. But that is not how I'm wired.

Last month saw Madonna in concert. She is a year older. Not retired. Not as agile as she had been the last time I saw her. But having so much fun along with everyone who surrounds her. Including her children. She doesn’t care if people say she is too old to be relevant. Or that she doesn’t look as good as she used to. Or that she is pathological for trying to be young. She does what she wants and you can tell that she lives a creative, individualized, joy filled life.

Madonna forever.

Photo: by Lauris of me dressed up for the concert