Having an expressive face does not have to be a disaster.

But when I was a young lawyer, I had not quite figured out how to control it. And this got me into trouble.

Nala’s default expression is that of a smiler. When we are running together, her mouth is open and her teeth smile at everyone. People find it adorable. It looks like she’s laughing. But other dogs not so much. There is something about Nala’s smiling face coupled with her direct eyed stare which seems to beget aggression. It looks like she’s daring them saying - come on. Whatcha going to do about it. And inevitably she gets charged by a dom trying to dom her.

Our faces send out messages. And early on I didn’t care about who saw the ones I was making. If a defense lawyer was irritating I looked irritated. If their witness was telling a whopper - I looked disgusted.

After those early trials were over jurors would talk to me about my rolling eyeballs. And the other expressions that I took no pains to hide. Those jurors taught me that I needed to be more thoughtful about what my face revealed. Plus periodically judges would also make a comment: Ms. Koehler did something I say amuse you… (said in an unamused judicial voice).

Then followed a few years where I introduced Gong Gong’s (my grandfather Tuck Fung’s) stone face. I called it - my calm yoga like façade. This was an unreadable face. Normally with a slight barely perceptible smile because after all - I am a plaintiff lawyer. I was very good at this face. But it hid my passion. I had turned off part of my ability to fully communicate.

One of the ways I am different than many other lawyers in trial, is the expressiveness of my entire being. I have made an intimate and profound commitment to my client - to tell their story and to advocate for them. This is not merely an intellectual undertaking. It is one of the soul.

And so as I have matured so has my decision and ability to be present through my face.

Photo: 1966 - Baby Susan, Debbie Doo Doo, and Side Eyes